hey, are you still there?

the slow cycle of meeting people and breaking friendships

“ Have I endured loneliness with grace?” - The Gardner by Mary Oliver

In my twenties, I’ve come to understand that some heartbreaks don’t arrive in dramatic waves but in whispers, in the quiet moments where warmth turns cold, and connection slips through your fingers like sand. Not the kind of heartbreak that shouts, but the kind that hums—a soft, unrelenting ache.

Friendship, at its start, feels like spring. There’s an effortless beauty to it—a bloom that catches you off guard. You meet someone, and suddenly the world feels lighter. You share jokes that no one else understands, stories that spill out late at night, and laughter that feels endless.

There’s a sacredness in those beginnings. A silent promise that this, this sweetness, will last. And for a while, you let yourself believe it will. You forget that blooms fade, that spring gives way to summer, then autumn, then frost.

But friendship doesn’t always end in a storm. More often, it fades like twilight. The messages grow fewer, their warmth thinning into polite formality. Plans become half-hearted; moments that once felt easy begin to feel heavy. You notice the distance in their voice, the silence that stretches too long, but you tell yourself it’s temporary.

Until, one day, it isn’t. They’ve drifted so far you can barely see them anymore, and you don’t know how it happened. Was it you? Was it them? Or was it simply time pulling you both in opposite directions?

You want to ask, what happened to us? But the fear of their silence keeps you from pressing send. You’d rather hold on to the memory of who they were than confront the stranger they’ve become because it hurts less.

There is a certain loneliness in remembering how we love, how we tear pieces of our soul to give to others, scattering fragments of ourselves in the wake of their absence. I scroll through old photos, reread messages, and let the songs we once shared drift through the air, each note carrying the faint ghost of who I was with them. The laughter we created, the secrets we whispered, the nights that unfolded endlessly, echo softly like shards of a memory half-forgotten.

These memories are both balm and wound, tender in their beauty yet aching in their loss. I do not only miss them, but the version of myself that bloomed in their presence, the me who was seen, understood, and held in a way that feels impossibly far now. Those scattered pieces of my soul remain, worn and weathered, a reminder of the cost of loving deeply and the beauty of the parts of us that linger, even in absence.

Losing a friend is a grief without ceremony. There’s no fight, no moment of closure. Just a slow unraveling, a thread pulled loose until there’s nothing left but frayed edges. And so, you carry the weight of what was, never quite knowing where to lay it down.

In my twenties, I’ve learned that not all friendships are meant to endure. Some people are like seasons—passing through your life to teach you, to change you, but never meant to stay. It’s a bittersweet truth, one that feels like both loss and gift.

Even as they fade, those connections leave their mark. The sweetness of their presence, however brief, lingers like the scent of rain on earth. They remind you of the beauty in fleeting things, the way they can bloom so brightly, even if only for a moment.

So, to the friendships I’ve lost and the ones I’ve yet to find: thank you. Thank you for the laughter, the lessons, the love. Thank you for the ache of your absence, which reminds me of the depth of what we shared.

And to the ones who’ve drifted too far for me to reach: I still hope, in some quiet part of myself, that you’re out there, remembering me too. Maybe, in some other season, we’ll find each other again. But for now, I’ll whisper into the silence: hey, are you still there?

---

AHHH thank you so much for the first 1K, guys! I still feel like I’m dreaming whenever I see how many of you liked my writing enough to subscribe. Your support means the world to me, and I’m so grateful for every comment, share, and kind word you’ve sent my way. This journey has been incredible so far, and I can’t wait to keep creating and sharing more with you all. ❤️

I’ve been a bit slow with replying to comments and being active on here because I recently took a pretty bad fall. I ended up with lacerations on both my hands and knees, so I’m taking some time to heal. Please be patient with me and hopefully, I’ll be back to full speed soon.

Hope you guys enjoyed this second part of my Heart to Heart entry! If it resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone you’ve drifted apart from but still miss. Sometimes, a small gesture can bridge the distance. Thank you for reading!